Faq: This is supposed to be directed to a single person, who’ll know it when she’ll read it.
Hello there!
I feel like an ass, talking to you like this – that too, on a public forum. I don’t know why I couldn’t talk to you before (was I scared? I guess so). There was a reason why I paused blogging – I wanted to think about you… Get a perspective. I wanted to end it amicably… However, considering my behavior towards you for all these months, it isn’t possible now.
I shouldn’t have started it in the first place. Yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking of late. Na rehta baans, na bajti baansuri. I don’t know what kind of thoughts I had on my mind when I decided to write you that letter in the summer of ’08. I think ‘rebellion’ was to be the crux of it. The challenge of doing something out of the ordinary also played a big part. The aspirations of happily-ever-after kind of an ending motivated me even further.
Looking back, I think that was the biggest mistake ever committed by me. Those pieces of paper changed both of our lives, for ever. For you, it was fear at first, perspective and epiphany later. For me, it was doubtful hope at first, exclamation and giddiness later. So much transpired, so much happened. Both of us had our own confidants, our own issues – yet we were linked as if by an invisible cord. Why? How? The answers still elude me.
Oh yes, we’ve spent some beautiful moments together. Times when everything seemed right, the future looked bright, and nothing seemed impossible. Its a pity that time has moved on.
As for the end of it, I apologize to you for doing it so haphazardly. It was supposed to be a clean break – tough to endure, but easier to heal. I guess things didn’t happen the way they were supposed to. I apologize to you for making you feel the way I did. I apologize to you for the pain I must have caused you… My silence, my refusal to talk, my complete indifference. I apologize for everything.
We had accepted the inevitable long ago. We’d known, that someday or the another, such things will come to pass. However, at that time, such circumstances seemed to exist in another universe altogether. We never prepared for it I guess. Perhaps that is why, I did what I did, and you were hurt the way you were.
I know, that no amount of even the most sincere apologies can make up for the behavior I’ve meted out to you. However, if you deem fit, please forgive me.




