Warning: (not) NSFW

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her, and pointing at you says, “He’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition

There was a man who wanted a pure wife, so he started to attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her home.

When they got there, he whips out his manhood and asks “What’s this?”

She replies “A cock.”

He thinks to himself that she is not pure enough. A couple of weeks later he meets another gal and soon takes her home. Again, he pulls out his manhood and asks the question.

She replies, “A cock”.

He is angry because she seemed more pure than the first but…. A couple of weeks later he meets a gal who seems real pure. She won’t go home with him for a long time but eventually he gets her to his house.

He whips it out and asks, “What is this?”

She giggles and says, “A pee-pee.”

He thinks to himself that he has finally found his woman. They get married but after several months every time she sees his member she giggles and says, “That’s your pee-pee.”

He finally breaks down and says, “Look this is not a pee-pee, it is a cock.”

She laughs and says “No it’s not, A cock is nine inches long and black!”

2007. We met. I was mesmerized.

2008. I expressed. She declined. I was…. leave it.

2009. She got upset. We fought. I got upset.

2009. She expressed. And I was like… Too little, too late.

2009. We talked. Cleared things up.

2009. We are *best* friends.

Life… With all its eccentricities.

There has been a lot of good writing going on in this world.

Oh wait! There has been a lot of good writing going on closer home! Reading blogs of fellow delhiites, I feel but a small speck of dust that got shoveled along its bigger and better counterparts just by mistake!

No, I’ll try harder. No, I won’t be just a spectator. No, I’ll write better.

What inspired this post? Piggy Little’s review of Kurbaan.

***

“I got to know a weird and shocking thing today.”

“What?”

“Arrey wo mama-log aaye huye hain na…”

“Such a weird and a shocking thing, isn’t it?”

(The even-numbered responses are mine.)

***

Today, of all days, was an exceptionally free day! First of all, I reached the college late due to unforeseen circumstances. Then found out that the CS class won’t be happening because the teacher was absent. And then even the Physics teacher failed to turn up!! So ‘we’ spent the day doing vellapanti – a standard procedure when such kind of ‘coincidences’ happen.

We watched street plays (there was a street play fest in the college today), and regarded them as way too long but terribly interesting. There was a momo-wala who’d set up his shop inside the college (apparently, as a sponsor to the event!), so it was quite natural of us to go and have some of those steamed samosas.

And then there was this photocopy-wala who spent his entire morning photocopying the book we’d given him.

Yeah, the day was fun.

• Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
• I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
• I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher… and that is a good thing for any man.
• Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore …
• Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence – A Life Sentence!
• Marriage is when a man and woman become one, the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
• Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
• I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
• If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

(P.S: Don’t think that I’m getting married next week!)

I’ve restarted my blog-reading-habit. Will post some interesting links starting (maybe) tomorrow. I’ll scour Indiblogger today for any new blogs that have sprang up since I last checked.

Read Read Read!!

There are times when even a blink-and-you-miss-it appearance of your favorite nephew can do wonders to your mood!

Although I am feeling rather happy all these days, considering the fact that I’ve been able to do what I should, and also what I wish to, Aarav was the missing link required to connect those dots and complete the picture. And guess what? The picture completed itself! I went and met him yesterday at his place.

Oh he’s so adorable! You just have to play with him for the shortest duration of time, and you will successfully forget all your worries and things you shouldn’t be thinking about! He has an almost therapeutic effect on you..!

Why does he have to live fifty kilometers away from my place?

Another thing… Have you ever tried to bathe with cold water on a chilly morning? Well I have! I did it today, and the experience is  awesome! Make sure you try it too!