Roaming into dark streets on a cold and chilly night, without even a companion to be with, quietly listening to the howling wind and silently munching potato chips; thinking. Thinking about the past, the future and everything in between. Thinking about life’s worst mistakes and best moments – even vice versa. Thinking about lost love and earned friends. Oblivious, even to buzzing flies and barking dogs.. Looking ahead to nothing in particular, looking back to no one specific. When random thoughts abound in an equally cacophonous mind, which is a stark contrast to the peace and quiet outside. When its just me, and just me around.
These are the most blissful moments of my life…
I’ve always been like this. Lonesome. Though I’ve had my share of good friends, I’ve never felt a special connect with them. So much so, that I might know each and everything about them, but they can’t say the same thing about me. I act on my whims, never quite understanding the repercussions. I’m unpredictable even to myself, let alone to others! If I decide to be nice to someone, I can be the nicest person in the world. But if I decide to be mean, I can be the meanest! If I decide to be accommodating, then you can say just about anything to me and I won’t mind. But if I decide to be angry, you’ll seldom find someone with a shorter temper. I want things my way, and I can be stubborn about that! You get the drift.
This is why, different people perceive me differently. While someone will bet on anything to prove that I’ve got the humblest personality he/she has ever seen, there will always be someone who will swear that I’m a coward who cannot stand up to himself.
All my life, I’ve been doing things haphazardly. Making links, then breaking them – for no reason whatsoever. But when people like Pritha, Mohnish and Sana became a part of me, I had to realize that things cannot continue this way, and that I’ll have to act more responsibly from now on. Frankly speaking, I’ve never had a better set of friends than this trio of people. Our bonds run really deep. And as a respect to all of them, I’ll have to change.
My stubbornness will have to go. My serious attitude to life will have to go. And most of all, my craving for loneliness will have to go. After all, I have friends. I can’t afford to be alone! They’ll kill me if I do that!! 
Put in Sana’s words, “I need to enjoy the lighter moments of life.”
This is the least I can do for you, dear friends! Three cheers to our friendship!
This is the 100th post on the Diary! I reached this mark in 104 days, which means I’ve posted here once everyday on an average! Hip Hip Hooray! Also, I wanted a non-mundane post for my 100th. But I can assure you that with my next post, it’ll be back to normal. No more emotional attyachaar. Promise!
(An assignment is due tomorrow…)