Right now, I am mindfucked. Utterly, Insanely, Senselessly, Preposterously, Derangedly, Completely mindfucked. Simply by staring at software.

I’m using a software to write this post. It is known as wordpress, and its an utterly beautiful piece of software. All I have to do is to write a post using it, and the rest it can handle. The moment I type in the title, something tells it that a permalink to this post is to be generated. The javascript goodness kicks in, takes in the words from the title, and the date and lo! You have a permalink (short for permanent link, which can point to this specific post from the hundreds currently in this blog). WordPress knows that most writers need to write-delete-rewrite-reuse everything they write. So it maintains an easily usable revision history inside of it, which I can access anytime I need to reuse something I have deleted.

These are the two of the hundreds of useful features of an awesome software. It was created by one man over a decade ago. Now it is maintained by hundreds world over, who suggest features, write code and test it on a daily basis. All for free. All because a random guy living in India is a lazy, terrible writer who needs his permalinks auto-generated and revision history expertly maintained.

The more I look at wordpress and countless other software, FOSS or not, the more I’m awed and humbled. Software creation is such a complex process – Computer Science students like me will vouch for the fact – yet these people are out there, who not only know how to make software, but also how to make it utterly awesome.

Just my two cents.

You and I.. We’ve been friends for nearly five years now.. (Was it February 2007 when we’d first met? I think yes!) We’ve come a long way since then.. Matured from our childish ways.. Literally “walking” down the path together.. The journey has been awesome.

I need to thank you. Not just for the fun times we’ve spent all through the years.. (Those days will never come back, will they?) I need to thank you for what you’ve done in the past few days.. Being a pillar of support for me when I was going through one of the worst times of my life. I need to thank you for being so spirited.. For your uncanny ability to see good in every bad situation.. For your kind words of encouragement.. I can’t thank you enough.

I know you’ll say that I don’t need to thank you. But trust me, I do. I couldn’t have made it through.. Not without you.

Its people like you who give friendship such a good name!

I’m not a normal person. Not in a normal sort of way anyway.

Normal people are perfectly happy doing one thing. A normal writer who loves to write is perfectly happy with just writing. A normal programmer who loves to program is perfectly happy with just programming. A normal scientist who loves science is perfectly happy doing research in his favorite area of research.

I’m an abnormal writer. An abnormal programmer. An abnormal scientist. An abnormal music fan. An abnormal businessman. An abnormal web designer. An abnormal person.

For me, one is not enough. When I’m writing, I think not of writing but of programming. Of the number of languages I have yet to master. Of the initial database required by the Unformed Thoughts backend. And of the number of modules to include in my Minor Project.

When I’m programming, I think not of programming but of writing. Of writing this very post and mentally perfecting the sentence structures. Of “I,Me,Myself” and the process of rewriting it. And of the various little anecdotes that I’m going to share once Unformed Thoughts is up and running.

When I’m watching a movie, I think of music. When I’m listening to a song, I think of movies. When I’m reading a novel, I think of studies. When I’m studying, I think of reading a novel. When I was at JLF, I thought of home and the numerous comforts it provided. Now that I’m home, I think of JLF and the aura of festivity around it.

My mind has a mind of its own. It wanders off to far off places. Never bothering to settle down. Life is a rollercoaster to it, where every twist and turn takes it someplace new, which mesmerizes it with its uniqueness. Alas! Something more mesmerizing is lurking just round the corner!

I’m not a normal person. Not in a normal sort of way anyway.

The phone alarm rang at 6 AM. I opened my eyes, looked at the time, and drifted off to sleep again! I knew this was going to happen, so I’d set another alarm to ring at 6:30, and another at 7:00. But sadly, to no avail. I did not wake up, knowing full well that if I get late, I’ll miss the morning session at JLF. No prizes for guessing what happened afterwards.

Anyway, that was that. When I was (finally!) conscious at 8, I was back in the Literary mode.

—

Entry into the festival took a long time, considering the fact that it was a Sunday, and that Oprah was due to arrive for her session in a few minutes.

It was a fiasco though. Not Oprah’s session, but the crowd management of Rajasthan Police at the venue, which meant that a lot of enthusiasts could not gain entry into the Front Lawns of Diggi Palace, where she was supposed to speak. Almost everyone who was there wanted to listen to her. So much so that the guy standing next to me exclaimed, “I feel bad for the other presenters!”

I ended up attending another session that was being held at the Baithak, a cosy little area inside the Hotel provided with comfy chairs and hosting active discussions featuring a number of eminent panelists. Jonathan Shainin was there, moderating a talk between Simon Montefiore and Sari Nusseibeh about “The Question of Jerusalem”. Sari Nusseibeh is a Palestenian professor of Philosophy and the President of Al-Quds University in Jerusalem. He comes from a family boasting of a 1300-year old presence in the holy city. Simon Montefiore, on the other hand, is a British historian and writer, having been written Jerusalem: A biography, a fresh history of the Middle East.

Quite an interesting talk that was. Simon, having been asked why he chose to write about Jerusalem, quoted from a character from his book – “When I want to read a book, I write it!” He continued to say that he felt that there was no book that captures the essence of Jerusalem in an objective, unbiased manner. Hence he chose to write it.

Sari, who is a Jerusalemite, stressed upon the fact that over all these long years, he and the fellow residents of the city have been trying to find out a way to lead a normal life, in the context of all the conflict that surrounds perhaps the holiest place on earth.

The discussion then moved towards the one aspect of the city that historians have often debated on – the fact that many believe that there are not one but two Jerusalems – the Terristrial one, that occupies the small, 0.9 square kilometer of area inside Israel, and the Celestial one, that resides in Heaven, and is supposed to descend from its Godly residence to Earth one day and replace the real, terrestrial Jerusalem.

Jerusalem is an Idea, as well as a City of Stones. It has been beseiged and plundered and conqurored many times in the course of history, and every controller of the city has suffered from a special form of madness called as the Jerusalem Syndrome by historians. The plunderers, the conquerors often have a mythical idea about Jerusalem as a city built on clouds. They fail to recognize the difference between the celestial Jerusalem, an Idea and the terristrial Jerusalem, the reality.

The talk was so much more that this. But all that can’t even be begun to put into words! It was a highly intriguing, and simply fantastic experience. And mind you, this was only one session. I attended so many more, and consequently, so many more posts are coming up. Stay tuned!

The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean; not to affect your reader, but to affect him precisely as you wish. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Finally, after years of missed opportunities and absurd frustrations, I got a chance to be a part of the famous Jaipur Literature Festival, being held in the equally famous Pink City. I have lusted after the festival since its inception in 2006. The very fact that you can interact with world renowned authors in a democratic environment and that too without spending a penny, has always fascinated me to the greatest. Now that I’m here, after years and years of building up the expectations, I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED!

JLF is held at Diggi Palace, the erstwhile house of a royal family. Seeped in authentic Rajasthani tradition, the palace serves as the perfect venue for a festival whose aim is to introduce the age old literature to the modern masses. Its large, expansive lawns and halls play host to a variety of literary dignitaries over a course of five days, promising to be exhilarating to those who love the written word.

Unfortunately, I missed the first day of the festival owing to the overflowing Indian Railways trains to Jaipur. Whether or not it was on account of the JLF is something to be debated upon! However, the star attraction of the first day, Salman Rushdie, failed to turn up (for no fault of his own except the fact that he wrote a book some two decades previously). No harm done!

The second day started exceptionally well. The very first session that I attended was by Steven Pinker (The Better Angels of our Nature: The Decline of Violence in Human History). As the title suggests, he talked about how the tradition of using violence has declined over the course of centuries. Various factors, he said, has contributed for the decline – the most important of them being the expansion of the very definition of violence. Centuries ago, “wife beating” classified as family life, corporal punishment to children was termed as “discipline”, and atrocities committed towards oppressed sections of the society weren’t recognized for what they were. It wasn’t violence per-se back then. Now that the definition has expanded, the people have become more empathetic towards one another and their inclination towards violence has decreased. Barkha Dutt, who introduced Steven Pinker to the crowd, thanked him at the end for making us believe that goodness can and does exist even in these times of uncertainty.

The next session was titled “Two Lives: Meerabai and Akka Mahadevi”, which was presided over by renowned writers and poets Yatindra Mishra, Mahendra Bhanawat, Suman Keshari and HS Shivaprakash. The attendees included Ila Arun and Vishal Bhardwaj too. This session compared the lives of Bhakti Saints Akka Mahadevi, who lived in the 12th century Karnataka, and Meerabai, the influential 16th century devotee of Sri Krishna. The panelists described both women as the very first feminists in the history of humanity. Both of them broke societal norms that were prevalent in their times. Both of them serve as an idol for millions of women in India and elsewhere, inspiring them to lead their lives in their own way, breaking the barriers institutionalized by the sadist male dominated society.

It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, hearing these people debate and discuss, and learning so much in the process. I have no words left to describe the exposure that I’ve had today. I’m going back tomorrow. Lets see how it turns out to be!

Now shall I walk or shall I ride? “Ride,” Pleasure said. “Walk,” Joy replied. ~ WH Davies

Nothing better than a long walk to recharge your mind and soul. You walk, you talk, you tease, you laugh, you stop, you rest, you go on… You walk, you look, you notice, you observe, you think, you infer, you know all..

Something like this happened on 18th September 2008. We walked, we talked, we teased, we laughed, we stopped, we rested, we went on… We walked, we looked, we noticed, we observed, we thought, we infered, we knew all…

That was the day when I went on a padyatra from Hansraj to Hari Nagar, along with my friend Srishti Sethi.

It was a spot decision. The day was free for both of us. It was raining intermittently. Not too heavy to spoil the fun of walking! So I asked her, lets go home. She was like.. What? Its morning dumbo! No no… Lets walk home, I said. She agreed (of course, being a walkaholic like me!), and off we went, to perhaps the most memorable adventure of our lives!

Oh it was fun! We walked and walked and kept walking. We passed McDonalds and Baskin Robbins on the Bunglow Road. Bharat Halwai in Shakti Nagar, and a derelict furniture shop in Shastri Nagar. We had banta on the way and forgot to pay the guy! (Though I paid him the next day). We entered the under-construction metro mall in Inderlok and managed to spot another McDonlads there. We passed the slummy Jhakhira and the industrialized Moti Nagar. We sat on the stairs on the dark side of the moon (err.. the opposite end of Kirti Nagar metro station) and had lunch. We ate bread pakoras from Aggarwal Sweets, and were instructed to have glucose by Meeta Ma’am! Moreover, Ma’am called Srishti the Queen of England and we laughed our guts out!

Perhaps that was the day the two of us became the best of friends. And today, exactly 3.33 years after that happy incident, we celebrated by having samosas and of course, another padyatra!

Contrary to popular perception, life can be this simple.

If you know me well enough, you must have known that I’ve turned 22 only recently. To commemorate the occasion, here are the top 22 things that you might or might not know about me. I know there must be a lot more, but we have my 23rd, 24th and my 25th birthday too! And more if the list turns out to be larger! OK so here you go:

22. I hate maths but love physics

Or more clearly, I fucking hate maths but I absolutely love physics! Maths is like shit. Physics is like what you feel after you take a shit. [:P] However, this hasn’t been true for me all along. In the good old days (read: school time) I used to adore Mathematics. Physics was likable, but there was no substitute for maths. I used to be so proficient with it that I even managed to top the class a couple of times. Alas! College changed everything.

Real analysis. Abstract Algebra. Calculus. Geometry. Although beautiful disciplines (I had a soft spot for real analysis), they really can take you down when they want to. Endless derivations about proving whether or not the square root of two is irrational or not! Whether a sequence is monotonic or not! Hopelessly trying to trace a curve based on its various “characteristics” and then commenting on it! And more recently, trying to figure out various measures of central tendency, and failing (of course!). Hell.

College physics, on the other hand, was real fun. Classical Physics, with its equations of motion and momentum and intertia and what not! Modern Physics, with its brand of badass quantum mechanics equations. Electronics, with all those semiconductors and PN Junctions and Transistors and Amplifiers! (Solid State Physics was a bit of a turnoff though). And the best of all? The practicals! Staring into sodium lamps while studying Newton’s Rings. Playing with pendulums and taut strings. Diffracting laser beams and experimenting with sugary water! All that time spent in Hansraj College’s various physics labs is perhaps the best time I’ve ever spent in college while still doing useful work!

21. I’m a sucker for Sci-Fi and Fantasy

Hell yeah! Give me enough science fiction and I will gladly hibernate all year long! Jules Verne and Isaac Asimov are my personal Gods. HG Wells is almighty in his own right. And Douglas Adams is the funniest science fictioneer ever produced my mankind! You know what I mean?

Star Wars? THE greatest story ever told. Lord of the Rings? Give me that and I drool like an overexcited dog. Harry Potter? I’m already on my seventh reading of the entire series! I’m a nerd, and a happy one at that

20. I’m selfish and narcissistic

The very fact that I’m writing 22 Things you probably don’t know about me explains the narcissistic part quite clearly! And yes I’m selfish too. I don’t talk to people whom I don’t like. Not even if I have to for the sake of something. I like to do things my own way and don’t like if someone interferes. I’m stubborn too. And also perfectionist.

19. 9gag has stolen my soul

Y U NO GIVE IT BACK 9GAG? I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. SOUL CLINCHING LVL: ASIAN. If you don’t understand any of that, then relax, your soul is still safe. BUT IF YOU DO, welcome to the club! May God help you with that soul thing. SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH.

18. I get turned off whenever I see a bad website design

Corollary: Seeing a terrific website is orgasmic for me. Have you ever seen the internet banking interface of PNB? Horrendous. Its the only reason I didn’t get my account there and instead went for ICICI Bank. Have you even seen the website of my university, GGSIPU? If you haven’t, don’t. (But if you still want to go ahead, make sure that you have something in your hand to puke into). This is one of the many reasons I hate my university, but that’s the topic of another blog post altogether.

Opposite side of the spectrum. Have you ever been to dribbble? Or css-tricks? Or treehouse? Now THAT’S called web design. I can look at those websites all day long… Trying to figure out why they are the way they are. Noticing the tiny little features that make them stand out of the crowd. Disappointment sets in when I try to reproduce those features on my own. But such is life dearies.

17. Indian TV? Hate. American/British TV? LOVE!

The Big Bang Theory is perhaps the funniest of sitcoms currently on air. True Blood can give you goosbumps when you least expect them. Eureka is so feel good that you start to think that the town is actually a real place you want to visit. Sanctuary can give you the chills and yet let you learn about ancient myths. Television at its best!

16. I don’t carry a notepad with me all the time, but I wish I did

There is so much going around in my head all the time that sometimes even my head is amazed about its own processing power! [:-P] Anyway. What I really want to say is, that it would be really nice to just whip out a notepad and a pen and write down whatever it is that comes to my mind. Sometimes I have an urge to get up really late at night and write down the dream. Put it to words. I am a sucker for writing. I’ve practiced freewriting for a couple of times, and I liked it. Only wish that I could do it more often. I’m lazy :-/

15. I love to sleep!

Especially on cold nights like this one. The bed looks so inviting in winters you know! If only I could just lie down and sleep all day and all night long… Cooped up in my favorite blanket…! Ah the dream!

14. I like people who have multiple talents

Farhan Akhtar for example. That man acts, sings, produces, directs and does what not else! Vishal Bhardwaj too, for example. That man writes, composes, acts, sings, directs, produces and does what not else! The reason I like such people is because I admire the way they can be in control of their surroundings. They don’t trust anyone to carry out their vision, as they alone can handle it. No task is to daunting for them. Deep down, I’d like to be like them. A multitasking hero.

13. My desktop computer has a tiny monitor

Only 1024×768! One of the First World Problems I guess.

12. I like a quiet environment

Too quiet if you please. When I’m really concentrating and you disturb me in the slightest, keep in mind that I’m a volcano only waiting to explode. Better keep out of my way if I tell you to do so, or you won’t like the consequences of your actions!

Since even the regular humdrum of life can distract me, I study in the wee hours of night, when there are no children playing in the colony, no obnoxious neighbours talking loudly on phone or watching TV at a high volume, no one working with mixer-grinders or water pumps, and no one talking inside the house. It becomes so quiet that I can even hear the tick-tick of the clock. What do I do then? Shut off the clock of course!

11. I study like a boss

I have a 4′x2′ study table, with a glass top. And a comfortable, high-backed chair made of faux leather. There’s a wall board hanging at my eye level, which contains everything there is to see, from various syllabi to the timetable and the datesheets. There’s a table lamp too, and a 6′ bookshelf placed on the left side of the table. Of course it is completely filled with books. Just like a 9gagger would say: STUDY. LIKE A BOSS!

10. I’m undergoing a music discovery phase

There was a time, long ago, when I used to think that bollywood produces the world’s best music. And then I discovered Pink Floyd. Since then, I have embarked upon a journey to listen to as much music as I can. And I have access to a really cute recommendation engine to help me out!

My tastes have expanded since then. Now I have a plethora of artists who I regularly to listen to, most notable of them being Coldplay, 3 Doors Down, The Beatles, Aerosmith, Maroon 5, Adele, Rihanna, Enrique Iglesias, Seether, Creed, Hoobastank, Backstreet Boys, Ronan Keating… The list goes on! Suspicious? Check out my last.fm profile!

However, as far as listening to the music of this world is concerned, there are miles to go before I sleep.

9. I have few friends. And all of them are lovely!

I’m not one of those people who hangs around in big groups just for the sake of it. I’m also not one of those people who can sugarcoat themselves and tolerate just about anyone around them. I don’t have many friends. But I’m proud of the fact that all those who are, are the GREATEST. Abhinav Upadhyay, Pritha Gupta, Srishti Sethi, Akshita Rastogi, Mohna Tyagi, Mohnish Rohatgi, Vinik Jain, Ashish Sharma, Arun Verma, Shanker Rungta, Megha Makhija… You people are the best. Simply the best!

8. I love classics!

I subscribe to the Golden Age Paradigm. It states that the movies they make, the songs they create, and the books they write, are totally and absolutely shit in this age that we live in, with exceptions only few and far between. The Golden Age of Cinema, Music and Literature is past, and is never coming back.

Guru Dutt is my favorite actor. I absolutely loved Pyasa, Kaagaz Ke Phool, and Chaudavin Ka Chand. I like my cinema Black & White, thank you very much! Casablanca, Pride & Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Its a Wonderful Life, A Streetcar Named Desire, Singin in the Rain, Strangers On A Train… Give me classics and I lap them up!

Its not just the movies. I think that The Beatles wrote the most beautiful songs ever, and Anna Karenina is my favorite book of all time!

7. I love to read, and re-read

As you already know, I’m currently on my seventh reading of the Harry Potter Series. But did you know that I’ve read the twilight series four times, and all the books by Dan Brown five time each? (Well except The Lost Symbol. Only twice so far!). I’ve also managed to read The Hunger Games triology (The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Mockingjay) three times. A Suitable Boy? Twice!

I love to re-read books. And with every reading, I get to know something new about them. An overlooked fact, an epiphany about a character, an insight about a situation… There are so many things you can learn, only if you read about them properly!

6. I love C++. And PHP. And CSS. And …

The list can go on! Just like I’m a sucker for Sci-Fi, I’m a sucker for Programming as well. It has always amazed me… The fact that a computer is nothing but a glorified servant, always up to every task a human assigns it, never failing in its endaevor (except of course in the event of a power failure!). Programming Languages? The bridge between the Binary Computer and the infinity that is Human Mind.

5. My eyelashes are too long for comfort

Many a times I’ve had the discomfort of them getting wound up together like a bunch of wires tend to do. Many a times they’ve succeeded in lodging themselves securely inside my eyes. Many a times, this has led to a quick dash to the doctor and a painful course of eye drops! Many a times, they just become plain mean and obscure my vision by curling themselves into impossible shapes and turning up just centimeters from my pupils. My girlfriend likes them though. Says that they form a perfect crown shape!

4. I like to do intellectually stimulating tasks

Attempting a particularly hard programming problem? You got it. Obsessing over a tyrranical physics equation? You got it. Trying to focus my thoughts into a coherent train? You got it. Writing philosophical crap? You got it. Posing rhetorical questions to self? You got it. Trying to build an FM Radio Receiver? You got it. Actually building an audio amplifier, transistor-by-transistor? You got it. Attempting to write a novel? You got it.

3. I’m a fan of minimalism

I don’t like clutter. Not in my room, not in my books, and not in my websites. Kinda turns me off. My idea of beauty lies in simplicity. A simple idea that conveys what it intends to convey without “addons”, if you may. Just like this text editor I’m writing this post in. Q10. Its a full screen, distraction-free text editor. Just a dark gray screen with light gray text. About a hundred pixels of margin from each edge, and free-flowing text in the middle. Minimalism makes my day.

2. I’m religiously tolerant

I believe in God. And I firmly believe that all religions are equal. None is superior or inferior from the other whatsoever. Although I’m born and brought up a Sikh, and my family has a tradition of going to Gurudwaras, we also visit a multitude of temples. I don’t engage in religious debate, but if someone drags me into it, I listen to him, respect his views and move on. Not only religion is too sensitive a topic to have a heated debate on, I feel that it is morally wrong to fight over something that teaches to love.

1. I love you doll

Need I say more?

Never in my life have I been ill so much. And that too during my exams! What started as common cold quickly morphed into something greater… Something sinister. I ended up sneezing all through one of my papers, and leaving a sixth of it undone. I ended up sleeping at 9 PM and waking up at midnight.. Only to spend a rough night afterwards.. Waking up, dozing off, waking up, dozing off.. I ended up nursing a headache and back pain all through a night. This, when I have a paper to study for. God help me!

I received the following text yesterday:

Message by confused alarm clock to dear Human

.

.

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U get mad when i wake u up & u also get mad when i don’t wake you.. Chahta kya hai bhai tu?

Apart from being terribly annoying and having enough grammatical and semantic errors to drive me mad, it also posed an interesting question. Why does the human behave like that? I sent a reply to the sender:

The human himself is confused dear lady!

As expected, the sender of the said text asked for an explanation. And as expected, it was enough to get me started:

There’s a conflict of interest. The human ‘wants’ to enjoy his sleep and live in the dream world of his. Hence he scolds the alarm clock for waking him up.

On the other hand, the human ‘needs’ to perform his worldly duties which require him to be awake in the morning. Hence the alarm clock gets a scolding for not waking him up.

Furthermore, the human is always frustrated – not getting what he wants, not getting done what needs to be – and the easy way out? Putting the blame on the humble alarm clock!

Needless to say, the sender was pissed off. But she managed to keep a straight face and continued to talk to me… Though not without changing topics on purpose after that!

Food for thought on this chilly December day, eh?

Image courtesy murdelta.

Picture yourself not here. Someplace else. You’re a fugitive, running away with the police hot on your heels. You run, never once looking back. You run, never minding your exhaustion. You run, as if there is no tomorrow.

What can hit you the hardest?

The curious bystander? Naah. He’ll just be as disinterested about you as you are about him.

A stray piece of stone? Naah. When your life and reputation is at stake, you won’t mind a hit to your toe.

The Police? Naah. Will you let them catch you? No, isn’t it?

Then what?

The realization. That the road ahead is a dead end.