Disclaimer — This post contains some major spoilers. If you want to preserve the fun, do not proceed!

I still cannot bring myself to the fact that I actually went and saw Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. SRK does his share of Champu-panti in this movie, and I recommend this to you *only* if you like a crappy story!

Alright, so here we go. SRK plays Surinder Sahni, an ordinary middle class guy who proudly carries a bag with “I work for Punjab Power” written on it. Circumstances lead him to marry Taani (played by Anushka Sharma), a much younger, full of life girl — who happens to be the daughter of Surinder’s former teacher. This mismatched marriage leads to some funny, and some not-so-funny consequences.

The first half of the movie is utter crap and highly predictable. However, SRK’s portraral of a common man is quite enjoyable — like the way he laughs,  the way he speaks… The audience is compelled to laugh at such situations!  But his champu panti becomes far too much sometimes.

As the story progresses, we see Taani declaring to Surinder that she’ll strive to become a good wife, but will not be able to love him. (Apparantly, Taani was to be hitched to his boyfriend, but couldn’t because he died in an accident. Her father had a heart attack, and requested Surinder, who was his favorite student, to marry his daughter. Seeing her father on his deathbed, Taani also agrees.) Hence, Taani cannot love Surinder.

However, Taani was a love at first sight for Surinder. He doesn’t openly say this to her, but is dismayed by her declaration. He seems to be very happy when she makes lunchboxes for him.

One day, Taani sees a poster of Dancing Jodi, a dance competition taking place in Amritsar. Surinder readily accepts that she participate, because he wants her to be happy.

Enter Bobby (Vinay Pathak) — Surinder’s childhood buddy, and a stylist. He gets to hear the complete story. Surinder feels that he is too boring for his wife, and asks him to make him trendy. Now comes SRK’s second avtar — the flirtious Raj — who becomes Taani’s dance partner in the dance classes. In a typically bollywood style, Taani doesn’t realise that Raj is actually Surinder. Back home, SRK becomes champu again. Next day in dance class, he is back to being Raj — you get the idea!

With Raj, Taani is back to her old self — the bubbly, vivacious girl, with whom Surinder had fallen in love. At this point of time, Surinder is faced with a dillemma — if he continues to be Raj, with whom Taani is very comfortable, that will make her forget Surinder. However, he does not need to be Surinder ever again — after all, both Raj and Surinder are the same!

He takes a bet. As Raj, Surinder proposes to Taani (The style of which, is highly interesting! He takes Taani to the highest point of Amritsar, from where the whole city can be seen. He then instructs his collegue on phone to do as he had instructed before — cut the power of the whole city, except certain areas, which say — I Love You). Taani is frightened, if not devastated, at the proposal. She had come to like Raj, after all!

Taani loses her concentration after that. She scolds Surinder even when he fights a sumo wrestler to win two tickets to Japan (yes, it does happen!). After Raj’s proposal, Taani starts to think that she is unhappy with the marriage. At a vulnerable moment, Raj asks Taani to elope with him. She agrees. Surinder is dismayed. He starts to think that he has failed the test of a husband…

Again, in a typical bollywood fashion, Taani reconsiders her decision — thinks about the time when Surinder held her hand when she was all alone, about how he effortlessly married her, knowing that she does not, and will not love him, and blah blah blah!

She tells Raj that she won’t be coming with him. Shahrukh’s character is now filled with mixed emotions.. Surinder as a husband won over Raj as a lover!

This is followed by the lengthiest climax ever! The Grand Finale of Dancing Jodi, the disappearance of Raj, and his reappearance as Surinder… Taani’s realisation that Raj was actually Surinder… Their performance, with Anushka all dressed up and SRK being a champu… And their spending their honeymoon in Japan…

***

As you can see, RNBDJ does not have anything to share as far as the story is concerned. When I was inside the movie hall, people were making an exit with half an hour’s movie still left to be seen — because everybody had by then predicted what was going to happen next! What makes it stand apart is SRK’s performance, and its music (to some extent). SRK’s champu panti gives rise to some awesomely hilarious situations, especially in the song Haule Haule. Even Anushka manages to treat audiences with her share of laughter, in her sequence on a sports bike. Vinay Pathak’s character is written to be humorous as well as sensitive. The music is good, with some interesting tracks thrown in. No misplaced song and dance sequences here. Plus you get to see Kajol, Bipasha, Lara, Rani and Preity making special appearances.

And the credits roll is just awesome! Don’t miss it, even if you sleep through the story! SRK narrates the story of their Japanese honeymoon, which is supplemented by pictures, and contains some memorable lines — “This is my first public kiss to Taani ji.” “Yeh hamaare bedroom ki kuch intimate moments. Taani ji bahut naughty ho rahi hain yahaan.” “Yahaan hum ghoome fire, khaaya piya, aur dance bhi kiya. Ab toe aata tha na!” And things like that. 

Watch the movie *only* if you are a die hard SRK fan, and want to see his flawless performance. In any other case, look out for some other releases!

The Bhandarkar brand of filmmaking is well established — hard hitting cinema with an overdose of realism, coupled with a very efficient handling of the subject. Fashion falls in the same league.

It is the story of Meghna (Priyanka Chopra), a small town girl with big ambitions. It is the story of Shonali (Kangana Ranaut), an arrogant and drug-addicted Supermodel. It is the story of Janet (Mugdha Godse), a veteran struggler in the modeling world. It is, the story of female bonding in this topsy turvy world of Fashion, where everything can change in an instant.

Meghna comes to Mumbai with big dreams, and a certain confidence that she is better than the rest. She makes friends, finds love, and quickly climbs up the fashion ladder. Within no time she she finds herself at the top. However, can she handle success? Perhaps not. She falls prey to her mentor, loses her love, distances herself from her friends, and even takes to drugs. Ashamed of herself, she takes the road back to her so called ‘small’ town. The story hereupon acknowledges her phoenix like rise as a model again. This time, however, she’d be careful!

Fashion is a bold film, not just because you get to see sex and wardrobe malfunction scenes, but because the subject is handled in a way it should be. When a gay designer proposes to her college mate, she agrees. When a struggling model finds her once rival stranded on streets, she takes her home and gives her all the love and care. When the parents see their only daughter distraught by the perils of modeling, they encourage her to go back and start from scratch. The story is crafted in utmost perfection.

Director Madhur Bhandarkar has tried to cover all aspects of the Fashion world — be is plagiarism “Made in Bangkok? Arrey yaar, label toe hata dete!”; rivalry (its Meghna v/s Shonali); social stigma (Meghna gets kicked out of her uncle’s house at four in the morning).… the list goes on. And the result? Fuckingly awesome!!

Priyanka might be the protagonist, but the movie really belongs to Kangana. Surprised? Well.. this is one of the few movies she is looking, and acting good. Her portrayal of a disturbed drug-addict demands applause, as well as laurels. It might sound weird, but you have to watch the movie to believe it.

Did you hear me? You have to watch the movie!

For me, the world is a musical place. I listen to music while working, while playing, while traveling, while reading, even while not doing anything! Looks as if me and music are inseparable. Most of the time, I listen to tracks from Bollywood movies. (Right now, its the OST of Mission Istanbul). Once, about two weeks ago, it occurred to me — why not ask people about their preference of misic? So.. I did a sms poll with five of my friends to rate the OST’s of 12 hindi movies on a scale of five. Before I divulge the results, let us look at the movies included in the list.

• Bunty Aur Bubli

A 2005 movie starring Abhishek Bachchan, Rani Mukherji and Amitabh Bachchan. Also starring Aishwarya Rai in a special appearance. The film is about Bunty (Abhishek) and Bubli (Rani), who are exepert conmen. They steal, but with a style! Starting off by stealing a few thousands from a small businessman, they go on to sell off the Taj Mahal. Amitabh Bachchan plays Dashrath Singh, a police officer who is after Bunty and Bubli.
The songs in the movie are pretty OK, with one exception — Kajra Re, which almost became the youth anthem of the country! The song, featuring Aishwarya Rai along with Abhishek and Amitabh Bachchan, became a huge hit, and still has a fan following. The movie’s music was given by Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy.

• Dil Chahta Hai

This 2001 movie, by Farhan Akhtar, is about three guys — Akash (Aamir Khan), Sameer (Saif Ali Khan) and Siddharth (Akshaye Khanna), their individual relationships and the effect that these relationships have on them. The movie also stars Preity Zinta, Sonali Kulkarni and Dimple Kapadia.
The songs, again, are pretty OK, and not one of them became the youth anthem. However, they can easily sound differently if you listen to them when you relax. The title track is nicely rendered by Shankar Mahadevan. Also, tracks like Kaisi Hai Yeh Rut and Tanhayee can be quite relaxing.

• Guru

This film is based on the life and times of Dhirubhai Ambani, and stars Abhishek Bachchan as Gurukant Desai. It discusses the explosive rise of the business tycoon during the decades of ‘50s and ‘60s.Other than Abhishek Bachchan, it stars Aishwarya Rai, Vidya Balan and R Madhvan, among a host of others.
The soundtrack is by AR Rahman, and is his finest work ever. Tracks like Aye Hairathe Ashiqui and Tere Bina certify this. Barso Re is a popular number, along with Maiyya Maiyya, in which the audience is treated (?!?!) with a guest appearance by Mallika Sherawat.

• Jodhaa Akbar

A recent film by Ashutosh Gowarikar, starring Hrithik Roshan as Akbar (why??) and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan as Jodhaa Bai. I haven’t seen the movie, however, it has been a hit.
The Music is by AR Rahman. Not very convincing though. Azeem-o-Shaan Shehenshah is good, by the way.

• Jhoom Barabar Jhoom

This 2007 movie by Shaad Ali Sehgal and starring Abhishek Bachchan, Preity Zinta, Bobby Deol and Lara Dutta .. .. .. is NOT a movie. Maybe it is an extended music video, maybe something else. I don’t know what the filmmakers were thinking when they made the movie. It was a BIG FLOP. Sadly. The storyline lacks finish. They had a good concept, but erred in turning it into a film.
However, as far as music is concerned, it has been done well by Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy. I have a soft spot for it, personally. I listen to the album pretty frequently. The tracks are peppy, especially the three versions of the title track, namely JBJ, Jhoom and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Ticket to Hollywood sounds very differently, while Kiss of Love is an example of really bad lyrics. However, the star of the album is Bol Na Halke Halke, sung by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, and a personal favorite of Shankar Mahadevan’s wife. (She once confessed it in a reality show on TV).

• Jab We Met

It was a surprise hit of 2007. The film, starring Kareena Kapoor and Shahid Kapur, is a romantic comedy with a heavy dose of over acting by Kareena. The concept might not be unique, but it has been executed the fun way. You cannot stop laughing during the movie. A must watch, I must say.
Jab We Met’s music is given by Pritam, and includes some very good tracks, like Aao Milo Chalo, Tum Se Hi, and Aaoge Jab Tum. Tum Se Hi, sung by Mohit Chouhan, is a favorite among my friends even today. Aaoge Jab Tum, sung by Ustaad Rashid Khan and Aao Milo Chalo by Shaan are my personal favorites.

• Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

A Karan Johar movie, starring Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta, Abhishek Bachchan, and Rani Mukherji, is about extra maritial relationships. SRK fans call it his worst movie ever. Understandably. I won’t go into details now. Those who have seen the movie know why. Those who haven’t, don’t need to know.
The music, by Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy, is good. They have done the title track quite nicely. Mitwa is another favorite of mine.

• Lagaan

An Ashutosh Gowarikar movies, starring Aamir Khan and Gracy Singh (her debut movie). The film is about the inhabitants of a small village in Gujrat affected by drought. They are offered a waiver in their tax if they defeat the Britishers in a cricket match. The movie won rave reviews and was nominated for the Oscars.
The music is by AR Rahman, and is pretty descent in my opinion.

• Partner

A David Dhawan film. Starring Salman Khan, Lara Dutta, Govinda and Katrina Kaif. The movie is bad. Thumbs Down! Salman Khan plays a Love Guru for Govinda, to help him win the heart of Katrina. Shouldn’t it be the other way round??
The music is by Sajid-Wajid. Not much to say about it, because the soundtracks lack finish. They have been quite popular, however. During its days, every DJ at every Night Club was playing Soni De Nakhre and Do You Wanna Partner. If people love the songs, they become good, isn’t it?

• Salaam-e-Ishq

This film by Nikhil Advani, was a mess. Starring as much as 12 actors, and six parallel storylines, you were bound to get confused. He loves her, she in turn loves some other. Another thinks he is in an extra-maritial relationship. They are newly married, and comic. She loses her memory, and makes a new start with her husband. The guy’s an NRI, getting arranged married to an army person’s daughter, whose boyfriend left her but wants to come back. Uff.. You got the idea. The biggest dissapointment is that it is a Nikhil Advani movie, who gave us Kal Ho Na Ho earlier. Did success get him?
The Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy soundtrack can get you started, though. The title track is melodious. Ya Rabba can make you think about love. Other songs are all goody-good. No negative reviews here.

• Taare Zameen Par

It marked Aamir Khan’s directorial debut, and we all know he did well. This film, starring Darsheel Safary as Ishaan Awasthi and Aamir Khan as Ram Shankar Nikumbh, tells the story of a young child who suffers greatly in school until a teacher identifies him as a dyslexic. The child (Darsheel) is a brilliant painter but has a difficulty in learning. He is looked down upon by his own father, and is packed off to a boarding school. There, his art teacher, Ram Shankar Nikumbh, identifies his talent and his dyslexia. He then trains Ishaan to be at par with the others. A heart rendering movie. Brings you to tears.
The soundtrack excells not just due to Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy’s music but also by Prasoon Joshi’s lyrics. Taare Zameen Par, Kholo Kholo, Mera Jahan, Maa, Bum Bum Bole — all are brilliant tracks. The lyrics are the best. The music is minimalistic. The songs are soothing. And I have memorized the lyrics of all of them! Five Stars and High Fives!

• Tashan

I cannot tell you the story. Because I don’t know about it.!.! I haven’t seen the film. I can just tell you that it was made by Vijay Shankar Aacharya and stars Kareena Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan, Akshay Kumar and Anil Kapoor.
The music is by Vishal-Shekhar, and is quite popular. (Good?? I can’t say. Ask yourself.) Chaliya and Dilhaara are not bad, but Dil Daance Maare is! Look at its lyrics.. Outright Preposterous!

So these are the films and songs on which I based my poll. Wanna look at the results? Here they are:

Guru Wins! Closely Followed by Partner and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. My friends have a good liking for music, isn’t it?
Enjoy your music…
Do you want to differ with the results? Let me know in the comments section.